And I came here to make you dance tonight...
Sunday, March 22, 2009 9:05 PM
don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you.
Tonight, I lie awake, caffeine pumping through my veins.
Thoughts consist of:
Coca Cola
The streak of blood*
Henna
Sunlight
Gentlemen
Emotions
Hoodies
*You could see it running down the creases on their forehead.
It was an accident.
This was no accident.
I can't believe I'd even lie to myself like that, but I kept it up:
It was an accident...
Bullshit.
I kept thinking about it and thinking about it.
I told them they deserved it
We both knew that wasn't true.
I never made myself apologize.
But I am sorry.
Sorrier for you than I am for myself.
(You keep saying that. I only sulk around the house and feel sorry for myself.
"That's what teenagers do."
"I don't."
But they won't believe me.)
This is a moment where I say, "FML."
And truly mean it.
[An observation I made of myself:
If I force myself to smile and think only good thoughts,
I can be the happiest person alive.
I'll feel it deep down and really believe that I am happy.
If something goes out of wack for whatever reason,
I immediately shut down inside
I forget to be happy
And my day turns to shit.
To those who may find me annoying:
I'm not trying to be.
I'm just trying to find the support I need, from the people I trust most.
So next time you start to ignore me, just relieze I know I'm 'pestering'
but also relieze just need someone to talk to.]
Wishes:
Phone
Bracelets
Confidence
Tonight, I lie awake, caffeine pumping through my veins.
Thoughts consist of:
Coca Cola
The streak of blood*
Henna
Sunlight
Gentlemen
Emotions
Hoodies
*You could see it running down the creases on their forehead.
It was an accident.
This was no accident.
I can't believe I'd even lie to myself like that, but I kept it up:
It was an accident...
Bullshit.
I kept thinking about it and thinking about it.
I told them they deserved it
We both knew that wasn't true.
I never made myself apologize.
But I am sorry.
Sorrier for you than I am for myself.
(You keep saying that. I only sulk around the house and feel sorry for myself.
"That's what teenagers do."
"I don't."
But they won't believe me.)
This is a moment where I say, "FML."
And truly mean it.
[An observation I made of myself:
If I force myself to smile and think only good thoughts,
I can be the happiest person alive.
I'll feel it deep down and really believe that I am happy.
If something goes out of wack for whatever reason,
I immediately shut down inside
I forget to be happy
And my day turns to shit.
To those who may find me annoying:
I'm not trying to be.
I'm just trying to find the support I need, from the people I trust most.
So next time you start to ignore me, just relieze I know I'm 'pestering'
but also relieze just need someone to talk to.]
Wishes:
Phone
Bracelets
Confidence