Can't forget all the mistakes...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 10:59 PM
the god damn radio jockey makes.
I swear he's out to get me.
Someone's out to get me.
\:
I swear he's out to get me.
Someone's out to get me.
\:
What would they do?
Monday, April 27, 2009 8:01 AM
If they just knew?
Oh, what would they do..?
I'm so confused.
Frustrated.
They all have something bad to say.
Was it wrong of me to have given you a chance?
I hope I don't regret my decisions.
I should have waited.
Oh well,
too late to go back now.
Oh, what would they do..?
I'm so confused.
Frustrated.
They all have something bad to say.
Was it wrong of me to have given you a chance?
I hope I don't regret my decisions.
I should have waited.
Oh well,
too late to go back now.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be...
Sunday, April 26, 2009 12:59 AM
And I don't want to go home right now
Again with the overreacting.
I think it's just my own way of protecting myself.
I don't think I could deal with too much more disappointment.
And all I can taste is this moment
Smiles
Touches
Exchanged glances
And all I can breath is your life
Worried Excited Nervous Happy
Cause sooner or later it's over
Too many thoughts of the outcome... Just take it a day at a time.
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Again with the overreacting.
I think it's just my own way of protecting myself.
I don't think I could deal with too much more disappointment.
And all I can taste is this moment
Smiles
Touches
Exchanged glances
And all I can breath is your life
Worried Excited Nervous Happy
Cause sooner or later it's over
Too many thoughts of the outcome... Just take it a day at a time.
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Yesterday,
Thursday, April 23, 2009 3:48 PM
I must have been utterly blind.
:)
What the fuck is up with my emotions?
I get jealous very quickly, and very very easily.
|:
Seriously.
It does shit on it's own.
So I just leave, just so they don't do anything
RE
TAR
DED.
Also! I'm glad I watched an aaaaaamazing video.
By an aaaaaaaamazing person who I have mentioned in the past!
I see some similarities in personality.
Strange.
But exciting!
Also also also:
Drinking a coke.
And trying to find a place to crash for the night.
I feel like a bum.
:)
What the fuck is up with my emotions?
I get jealous very quickly, and very very easily.
|:
Seriously.
It does shit on it's own.
So I just leave, just so they don't do anything
RE
TAR
DED.
Also! I'm glad I watched an aaaaaamazing video.
By an aaaaaaaamazing person who I have mentioned in the past!
I see some similarities in personality.
Strange.
But exciting!
Also also also:
Drinking a coke.
And trying to find a place to crash for the night.
I feel like a bum.
Untitled
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 3:19 PM
Brainstorming...
It's a thunder storm.
Rain pouring, lightning flashing, all the good stuff.
....
What do I do now?
It's a thunder storm.
Rain pouring, lightning flashing, all the good stuff.
....
What do I do now?
For the longest time...
Monday, April 20, 2009 8:53 PM
wo-ah oh.
You know how when you carve a heart into a tree?
So + so 4 evr
It's permanent.
"Until death do us part"
Even if the poor thing is cut down, those small letters are still there.
It's only until they are completely shredded and
no amount of magic can pull them together again
that So + So won't be together.
Why can't relationships be like that?
I want a love like what's carved into a tree.
Even if things grow over it,
deep down,
there it is.
So + So 4 evr.
You know how when you carve a heart into a tree?
So + so 4 evr
It's permanent.
"Until death do us part"
Even if the poor thing is cut down, those small letters are still there.
It's only until they are completely shredded and
no amount of magic can pull them together again
that So + So won't be together.
Why can't relationships be like that?
I want a love like what's carved into a tree.
Even if things grow over it,
deep down,
there it is.
So + So 4 evr.
We're flying through the night...
Sunday, April 19, 2009 11:45 PM
way up, high.
The view from here is getting better with you,
by my side.
Can't help but laugh at myself now. :)
Should have listened.
I'm like a child.
When will I ever learn?
Haha.
Ha.
Just...
wish I was better.
In every way.
Just...
never quite good enough.
For you.
Or you.
Even you.
Oh well.
Just trying to be the best I can be.
And that's what counts.
Even if you don't care. :)
I can see myself going back and writing all these posts into songs.
Hm.
I should do that.
A wonderful charicature of intmacy...
11:17 PM
Rejection hurts.
I need to learn to grow up
and quit wasting my time.
I need to learn to grow up
and quit wasting my time.
I can't hear you...
11:35 AM
you sound like static.Tinsel artwork...?
I don't know what it's called, but I wanna do it.
:)
Er, have some owls.
I'm just hoping...
Saturday, April 18, 2009 9:17 PM
you're okay.
Why am I being thrown these challenges?
Really now.
You know how badly I want one.
But, I don't want the other bits.
Alright, so you get rid of that, but you still have to do THIS.
But... I'm afraid. scared terrified
Afraid of lots of things. will you still want me?
blah
I want to be around them, but I also want to keep my other friends.
But then, if they leave me, they can't be "true" friends anyway.
Nonetheless, I wish to keep them.
I can only hope I can find the courage to do what I really want.
Although I don't know what that is yet,
I try to deal the best I can.
I also realize I have an issue with saying no.
People who push.
People who give me that, "Ugh" face when I deny.
I go home and can't help but think about it.
I know I've made mistakes, but I seem to keep making them.
Never the same (except for one), but still reoccurring.
If that makes sense.
This is just a mind dump, and I'm sorry for anyone having to read this.
(I ALSO REALIZE I SAY SORRY A LOT.)
Still trying to find my "true calling".
I can find beauty in the ugliest things.
What exactly does that mean?
I hope it's a good trait, and hopefully it won't run me into any trouble.
Oh godshshdhhhdshdhsdhsdhhsdhsfkajdkjdsfjadsja;ldkjdfjajd;ajdkld;fjakdfdslkfjldsajfhgdrhfga.
That's what my head feels like right now.
Ow.
:) Hello.
Good morning to you.
I hope you're feeling better, baby.
Why am I being thrown these challenges?
Really now.
You know how badly I want one.
But, I don't want the other bits.
Alright, so you get rid of that, but you still have to do THIS.
But... I'm afraid. scared terrified
Afraid of lots of things. will you still want me?
blah
I want to be around them, but I also want to keep my other friends.
But then, if they leave me, they can't be "true" friends anyway.
Nonetheless, I wish to keep them.
I can only hope I can find the courage to do what I really want.
Although I don't know what that is yet,
I try to deal the best I can.
I also realize I have an issue with saying no.
People who push.
People who give me that, "Ugh" face when I deny.
I go home and can't help but think about it.
I know I've made mistakes, but I seem to keep making them.
Never the same (except for one), but still reoccurring.
If that makes sense.
This is just a mind dump, and I'm sorry for anyone having to read this.
(I ALSO REALIZE I SAY SORRY A LOT.)
Still trying to find my "true calling".
I can find beauty in the ugliest things.
What exactly does that mean?
I hope it's a good trait, and hopefully it won't run me into any trouble.
Oh godshshdhhhdshdhsdhsdhhsdhsfkajdkjdsfjadsja;ldkjdfjajd;ajdkld;fjakdfdslkfjldsajfhgdrhfga.
That's what my head feels like right now.
Ow.
:) Hello.
Good morning to you.
I hope you're feeling better, baby.
...
Saturday, April 11, 2009 8:51 PM
Have you every felt closed off from the rest of the world?
Felt cold, or ....alone?
You talk, but no one seems to be listening.
You look ahead, but everything's dark.
Uncared for, abandoned, told lies.
Is everything he/she said true?
Can they possibly be the truth?
Or have maliciousness and evil and wrong doers come about once more.
Should I wait?
Should I walk away, and leave those who now reach out to me,
but had once already left?
I'm confused,
I just want to go home.
Felt cold, or ....alone?
You talk, but no one seems to be listening.
You look ahead, but everything's dark.
Uncared for, abandoned, told lies.
Is everything he/she said true?
Can they possibly be the truth?
Or have maliciousness and evil and wrong doers come about once more.
Should I wait?
Should I walk away, and leave those who now reach out to me,
but had once already left?
I'm confused,
I just want to go home.
Something in the way she moves...
Wednesday, April 8, 2009 10:18 PM
attracts me like no other lover.
Did new henna designs today, they look alright I suppose. Spent my day with Bryony and watching Ugly Betty.
Mmm... :)
"I love you."
"*soft laugh* I love you too.."
"You betta love me! I swear if you don't, I'll cut chu!"
"Joyce, I care about you so much that if you shot me,
I'd pay for the bullet and then apologize."
Dream: Didn't like the picture.
Real life: Didn't like it.
Anticipation soon turned to disappointment and then a tad bit of embarrassment.
But, what's done is done.
Can't expect everyone to care.
Oh well.
Did new henna designs today, they look alright I suppose. Spent my day with Bryony and watching Ugly Betty.
Mmm... :)
"I love you."
"*soft laugh* I love you too.."
"You betta love me! I swear if you don't, I'll cut chu!"
"Joyce, I care about you so much that if you shot me,
I'd pay for the bullet and then apologize."
Dream: Didn't like the picture.
Real life: Didn't like it.
Anticipation soon turned to disappointment and then a tad bit of embarrassment.
But, what's done is done.
Can't expect everyone to care.
Oh well.
Keltie Colleen
Tuesday, April 7, 2009 8:51 PM
"She was the one who used to date Ryan Ross.
I used to only follow her blog and look for bits about Ryan, but I finally started reading it and listening to what she had to say about her life.
She's a very interesting person, and hardly ever mentions him anyway.
I've learned to look up to her and want to be more like her.
She's honestly probably the strongest woman I've ever come to know about in sort of my life time.
She talks about real life and she talks about how she's making it through the hardships.
She proves that even "famous" people can be real."
I love Keltie Colleen.
The biggest 'dork' you'll ever meet. :))
I used to only follow her blog and look for bits about Ryan, but I finally started reading it and listening to what she had to say about her life.
She's a very interesting person, and hardly ever mentions him anyway.
I've learned to look up to her and want to be more like her.
She's honestly probably the strongest woman I've ever come to know about in sort of my life time.
She talks about real life and she talks about how she's making it through the hardships.
She proves that even "famous" people can be real."
I love Keltie Colleen.
The biggest 'dork' you'll ever meet. :))
________________________________________________
This is just a tid bit I told to a good friend of mine.
"Wanna see who I look up to?" I said, on a spur of the moment. (But not really, I had just read her latest blog post)
"Sure."
I showed him Keltie and told him who she was to me.
"you should write about her for a school paper and use what you just wrote =O "
Next time I get the chance I will.
But I put it here, in hopes she may perhaps one day run across it and notice another fan. :))
"Wanna see who I look up to?" I said, on a spur of the moment. (But not really, I had just read her latest blog post)
"Sure."
I showed him Keltie and told him who she was to me.
"you should write about her for a school paper and use what you just wrote =O "
Next time I get the chance I will.
But I put it here, in hopes she may perhaps one day run across it and notice another fan. :))
Oh my god, how ridiculous were we?
Friday, April 3, 2009 10:26 PM
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
I always think the same thing in the car.
I feel that I have to listen to certain music, just incase if I die,
they'll find my body and will see what I'm listening to.
Then the band'll find out somehow,
and they'll feel bad and come to my grave.
And from heaven or hell,
I'll feel special.
That sounds pretty dumb. If I don't say so myself.
I always think the same thing in the car.
I feel that I have to listen to certain music, just incase if I die,
they'll find my body and will see what I'm listening to.
Then the band'll find out somehow,
and they'll feel bad and come to my grave.
And from heaven or hell,
I'll feel special.
That sounds pretty dumb. If I don't say so myself.
Cardboard Cut outs
Thursday, April 2, 2009 10:55 PM
Blank stares at blank pages.
Fits me perfectly.
Unlike those pair of pants.
But yet I wear them anyway.
Spring Break?
I have...plans?
Everyone stops chomping popcorn to gasp and stare.
A soda drops and spills on the ground,
surrounding feet.
Alright alright I get it.
So I don't go out much.
But now I am, what's the problem?