I'm just hoping...
Saturday, April 18, 2009 9:17 PM
you're okay.
Why am I being thrown these challenges?
Really now.
You know how badly I want one.
But, I don't want the other bits.
Alright, so you get rid of that, but you still have to do THIS.
But... I'm afraid. scared terrified
Afraid of lots of things. will you still want me?
blah
I want to be around them, but I also want to keep my other friends.
But then, if they leave me, they can't be "true" friends anyway.
Nonetheless, I wish to keep them.
I can only hope I can find the courage to do what I really want.
Although I don't know what that is yet,
I try to deal the best I can.
I also realize I have an issue with saying no.
People who push.
People who give me that, "Ugh" face when I deny.
I go home and can't help but think about it.
I know I've made mistakes, but I seem to keep making them.
Never the same (except for one), but still reoccurring.
If that makes sense.
This is just a mind dump, and I'm sorry for anyone having to read this.
(I ALSO REALIZE I SAY SORRY A LOT.)
Still trying to find my "true calling".
I can find beauty in the ugliest things.
What exactly does that mean?
I hope it's a good trait, and hopefully it won't run me into any trouble.
Oh godshshdhhhdshdhsdhsdhhsdhsfkajdkjdsfjadsja;ldkjdfjajd;ajdkld;fjakdfdslkfjldsajfhgdrhfga.
That's what my head feels like right now.
Ow.
:) Hello.
Good morning to you.
I hope you're feeling better, baby.
Why am I being thrown these challenges?
Really now.
You know how badly I want one.
But, I don't want the other bits.
Alright, so you get rid of that, but you still have to do THIS.
But... I'm afraid. scared terrified
Afraid of lots of things. will you still want me?
blah
I want to be around them, but I also want to keep my other friends.
But then, if they leave me, they can't be "true" friends anyway.
Nonetheless, I wish to keep them.
I can only hope I can find the courage to do what I really want.
Although I don't know what that is yet,
I try to deal the best I can.
I also realize I have an issue with saying no.
People who push.
People who give me that, "Ugh" face when I deny.
I go home and can't help but think about it.
I know I've made mistakes, but I seem to keep making them.
Never the same (except for one), but still reoccurring.
If that makes sense.
This is just a mind dump, and I'm sorry for anyone having to read this.
(I ALSO REALIZE I SAY SORRY A LOT.)
Still trying to find my "true calling".
I can find beauty in the ugliest things.
What exactly does that mean?
I hope it's a good trait, and hopefully it won't run me into any trouble.
Oh godshshdhhhdshdhsdhsdhhsdhsfkajdkjdsfjadsja;ldkjdfjajd;ajdkld;fjakdfdslkfjldsajfhgdrhfga.
That's what my head feels like right now.
Ow.
:) Hello.
Good morning to you.
I hope you're feeling better, baby.