Pier Six Pavillion
Monday, July 27, 2009 3:26 PM
I could sit and complain about how I'm missing The Academy Is...
for the 4th? 5th? time, but I will spare you.
Instead, here's a nice photo of the bands I'd be seeing if someone
would have picked up the telephone.
But here we go again with my being alone issues.
I couldn't stand to go to the concert by myself,
which is why I won't complain about not going,
because it's sort of my own fault.
The Academy Is...
Boys Like Girls
Gym Class Heroes
Never Shout Never!
The Veronicas
for the 4th? 5th? time, but I will spare you.
Instead, here's a nice photo of the bands I'd be seeing if someone
would have picked up the telephone.
But here we go again with my being alone issues.
I couldn't stand to go to the concert by myself,
which is why I won't complain about not going,
because it's sort of my own fault.
The Academy Is...
Boys Like Girls
Gym Class Heroes
Never Shout Never!
The Veronicas
Sunday, July 26, 2009 8:39 PM
I don't know what to say anymore.
To anyone.
Not to say that I am incapable of speaking,
but often I find myself choosing not to.
You apologize and say, "I'm sorry, you don't have to cry over me."
"Stop, Joyce, I hate to hear you cry."
"I'm just an asshole, I don't know why you put up with me."
Me either.
I don't know why.
And fuck it, I don't want to put up with it.
But I do?
I put up with the shit I get from people I call my 'friends'.
But at the same time, I openly tell people that I dislike most of my friends.
I have alone issues.
I feel the need to have a lot of friends, and I do.
I have a lot.
A lot.
Of friends.
Literally hundreds of people who would say I was their friend.
But do you know how often those people ask me someplace with them?
Not often at all.
I don't want to be alone,
so I open up to these people, hoping they'll want to be around me.
They do but,
not that much.
I shouldn't take it personally,
I can't be liked by everyone.
But I can sure damn try.
My 'best friends'?
I have two true best friends,
the first I will love until I die.
Whether or not things work out,
but I am 100% that they will,
I will still love him.
My second is my cat,
she has been there for me since I was four years old.
I come into the basement and she runs to greet me,
gladly following behind me.
I sit down, she's eager to sit on my lap,
and I love her, and I pet her.
But when I stop,
she leaves.
Is that how it is with my 'friends'?
They want me to 'pet' them,
but when I stop,
they'll leave?
I can't even trust the people that call themselves my parents.
What sort of parents lie and try to blackmail their children?
It's horrible, and not at all exaggerated,
although I so wish it were.
I don't want things to be like this.
To anyone.
Not to say that I am incapable of speaking,
but often I find myself choosing not to.
You apologize and say, "I'm sorry, you don't have to cry over me."
"Stop, Joyce, I hate to hear you cry."
"I'm just an asshole, I don't know why you put up with me."
Me either.
I don't know why.
And fuck it, I don't want to put up with it.
But I do?
I put up with the shit I get from people I call my 'friends'.
But at the same time, I openly tell people that I dislike most of my friends.
I have alone issues.
I feel the need to have a lot of friends, and I do.
I have a lot.
A lot.
Of friends.
Literally hundreds of people who would say I was their friend.
But do you know how often those people ask me someplace with them?
Not often at all.
I don't want to be alone,
so I open up to these people, hoping they'll want to be around me.
They do but,
not that much.
I shouldn't take it personally,
I can't be liked by everyone.
But I can sure damn try.
My 'best friends'?
I have two true best friends,
the first I will love until I die.
Whether or not things work out,
but I am 100% that they will,
I will still love him.
My second is my cat,
she has been there for me since I was four years old.
I come into the basement and she runs to greet me,
gladly following behind me.
I sit down, she's eager to sit on my lap,
and I love her, and I pet her.
But when I stop,
she leaves.
Is that how it is with my 'friends'?
They want me to 'pet' them,
but when I stop,
they'll leave?
I can't even trust the people that call themselves my parents.
What sort of parents lie and try to blackmail their children?
It's horrible, and not at all exaggerated,
although I so wish it were.
I don't want things to be like this.